In celebration of nothing, my boyfriend brought me gluten-free chocolate chip cookie dough, a thing I thought I would never taste again unless I went about baking it myself from scratch, which, given my proclivity for burning empty pans*, and also occasionally eating apples with the stickers still on them**, did not seem as if it was going to happen!
Here are my specific thoughts: when these guys are warm they taste like the best gluten-full cookie you’ve ever had and conjure memories of a time before you found yourself day-dreaming of eating things you used to think were not the cause of all your physical misery. When they’ve cooled, they leave a bit of that chalky residue taste thing in your mouth, like most gluten-free items—but still, whatever. And by that I mean: COOKIES GIMME COOKIES PUT IN MOUTH RIGHT NOW, HURRY, COOKIES, WANT, GIMME***.
So, a big thank you to my wonderful boyfriend, and also, of course, to Immaculate Baking Company, for presenting me with cookie dough pre-cut into perfect serving sizes, thus allowing me to pass off the finished product to one of my celiac friends as something I’d created perfectly from scratch (a blatant lie, which is my wont).
Conclusion: I sat on my boyfriend’s lap for an hour, clutching his head to my chest and whispering dizzy nonsense in his ear while he attempted to eat his dinner.
*I am frazzled danger around recipes and ovens!
**I tend to ingest utensils and other non-food items when the food at hand requires any degree of preparation!
***The above picture does not fully reflect my excitement because I took the photo at work and had to thusly conceal my joy as work is a place where you wear modest sweaters and neutral slacks and repress most feelings. In any case, please note that what you cannot see in the picture is that I am whispering to myself, “Hallelujah,” and praying for Immaculate Conception via Immaculate Baking Co. so that I may simply give birth to more gluten-free cookies and thus avoid the .4 mile trek to Whole Foods to get more.